My Confession

That was the most terrible jealousy I've ever had. The time when I saw my crush had such an intimate moment with another women, in front of me. Well, we both are not really in a relationship. I have no right to feel jealous at all. But, there was an energy that came naturally, the atmosphere that suddenly bring tons of water that fill up my chest and make it so full, I can't breath. My brain send it's signal to my eyes to cry, then it cried. And the water get out of my body through my tears. That was the first time I feel that way to someone. Unpredictable. Uncontrollable. The feeling, yes it hurts, but it's wonderful. It feels like I get my pulse back, and I want it stay.

Still, after that moment, I still don't know whether it's love. I'm not really sure that I'm in love with him. Regardless it's love or not, the other feelings come. A feeling I-want-to-see-him-everyday. a feeling if-he-is-OK, a feeling I-always-want-to-see-him-happy , with-me. a feeling I-don't-want-make-everything-hard-for-him. a feeling I-am-someone's-belonging. I decided by then. I'll stop flirting with another guy. I'll stand by him. I choose him, and I don't care how great another women around him, I wish he would pick me, choose me, and love me as well..