What Now

"Gimana izz rasanya jadi sarjana?"
"Gimana izz, udah ada kenaikan pendapatan belum dengan ijazah barunya?"
"Kapan nikah niih jadinya?"

Some people asked me those questions. Well, nothing much different. I'm still the same aizzah like who I used to be, work in the same place, same position, and same sallary. I'm my Mother's eldest daughter, my sibling's sister, I'm the most beloved my grandmother's grandchildren. I'm just simply someone else's friend out there. I'm not ready for any new role this time, even I admit it, I'm dying to have my own baby, but the idea of getting married scare me a lot. It's not that I'm the person who don't believe in marrieage. it's because I just haven't met 'him' yet. That's it. as simple as that.

About the feeling, it's kinda wonderful. When finally I finished what I've started. it worthed the efforts.

Somebody told me that life is not merely about sallary or money. I agreed with that person. That's not what I concern all about. I'm still looking for something I possibly really love to do. Once, I was sure to have job/schollarship outside country, going abroad and challenging myself into something new and earning as much as money. But I was wrong. I wanted to work/study abroad just because I saw many people live that way, and they look great, I feel so small compared to them. They're something, and I'm nothing. They're such successful person, and I'm just a picture of failure. I tell you now, that's only pessimist sees things like that.

I have no future I've figured out by now. But I believe, I'm great with my own role in this world. Everybody is. I want to live my life with my own way, stop being under anyone else's shadow. Life is too short to waste our worthy time with regret when we keep chasing things we don't really want to chase.

All I'm doing now are..
Enjoying every single thing I do
Being gratefull for every single thing I have
Discovering new things
Cultivating new hobbies
Making people smile
Feeling happy everytime
Learning, gaining, and earning..
I'll know in the end those are the best I can do now..