end it

Dear Crush..

It’s ridiculous to name you that way perhaps. However, that’s all the way I feel about how you treat me this far. I think I have a right to say so because this lately five months you’ve been intensively being the first texting me on YM, sending me messages, calling me every night, having more than three hours conversation on the phone, with me, everyday, which obviously make me think that you’re truly starting fall for me. One more thing, you brought me a lot of gifts the day you came back from a business trip. Remember? That's not the way you treat your friend right?

It was fun at the beginning. You know, my cheeks got blushing every time you’re calling. Even your not funny jokes could make me keep smiling. It shameless to admit them, but yes, I did it. You’re a good man, kind, warm, easy going; honestly, you have everything I’ve been dreaming on.

But still.. I couldn’t tell you everything about me, it’s getting harder for me to find the pleasure I’ve been through, you’re jokes not funny anymore, I ran out topics and ideas to keep our conversation longer, I lost the beat.

It might sound selfish. But please understand if you’re in my shoes? Having three hours conversation on the phone with a person you met on the internet previous day, keep that activity as a habit, get addicted, but in the end you realize you have no feeling at all. Will you stay that way? Fooling somebody else, even yourself. I bet you won’t, you’re kind, I know. You’re not such a jerk. I’m.

It’s just I’m not ready yet to say yes when my heart not open. So let’s stop by here. Let’s end it here. Let’s be friend. Just friend. No more.